***smiling ..looking back.. kissing you goodbye 2010***

sooooo

new years is around the corner
wow
this year flew by!!!

im not big on resolutions
like
*i will lose weight
*make a million
*get a six pack
........
me
i'm more into resolving
*
i want to be thankful for my past year
learn from it
resolve
&
move forward
*** if i lose weight.. make a million & get a 6 pack **BONUS ***

2010
another year that hit me
hard core

i learned
sooooooooooo
much*

where do i start??

colman
* my amazing sunshine *
he's 13
will hug me goodnight..
tell me he loves me..
remember
***he is 13** im so lucky ***
&
they said it wouldn't last
:)

he laughs with me
holds my hand when it's slippery
catches me when i fall
goes to movies with me
....even chick flicks ...
out to dinner
sledding
wants me to cut his hair instead of me taking him somewhere
&
when he hates it
says
" it's not your fault.. i should have told you what i wanted better "
*seriously.. what a doll.. his new cut is really cute tho*
he smiles & laughs & jokes
with
me
is my biggest fan
&
i am
his
as much as i can't erase the pain of the divorce
i wish
i could
all
i can do is
love
&
get along with his daddy
&
that
i do!

*resolve*

my divorce
yes
a big
OUCH
looking back
* i realize i was so fortunate *
i raised my son
i
painted
hiked
biked
played
all with colman
*everyday*
we lived in our dream home
i started a successful business
****
that
i
will
have supporting me again in this coming year
****
..my needs were met ..
..our needs were met..
the
love
it didn't stop with his dad
just changed...
just wasn't what we both needed after 15 years

*resolve*

work
i like it
but
does it like me???

i hesitate to say anything about my job
i am so grateful for it
i work with
some
AMAZING PEOPLE
but honestly
more
griping
bitching
moaning
not
so
amazing people

ish
"would you shut it already people"

so
i'm quiet
don't say much
i just
do my job
smile & giggle
with a few
&
that's what i will do

i forgot not everyone will like you
i of course for years only had to deal with people who liked
me
enjoyed
my art
my dogs
we shared interests

duh maggie???

*i miss being liked for just being me*
i painted
made people
smile
laugh
remember a moment
a pet
a child
a friendship
it meant something
&
it was appreciated

*it is what i dreamed of doing*

i realize now how much
* i miss my paint brushes*
* i miss being "liked"*
i realize
*i would have colored my hair & disguised my age
had i worked a traditional job*
yep
that was a shocker ...
me
????? conform ?????
i never thought the work place was such an
influential & discriminating
place
but
it
is

i never thought i was
"old"
apparently
i am
i never thought i would say
"geez that generation sucks"
but
yep
i said it
i'm
old
or
yes indeed
i am correct
*that generation sucks*

i knew i was fortunate
now i
KNOW
i want it back
to
work
live
be
&
*make a living making myself & others happy*

HUH??

almost unheard of
but
i had it
still do
just need to
focus

* perhaps a few classes back teaching the kids art will help*

i realize that the last few years ...
i had a extremely full plate
was grieving so much
&
it takes time to heal
now
i'm ready

...house sold...
...we have started looking for new places...
...we close in 2 weeks ....
im overwhelmed with having to move
all my possessions into storage until i find a place
....but i can do this...
simple
next move...
our
new home
* mine & colmans *

* resolve*

my paint brushes..
digging out my mailing lists & getting back what i had but better
*PRIORITY*

finding my place in this world
as a single woman
happy
capable
dreaming
hoping
&
making it happen
will be
a
reality

on my own
with my
colman
our dogs
shy cat
family & friends
that believe in me
in
us

* resolve *

i hope your 2010 was full of
lessons learned
growth
love
&
found peace
&
that
your
2011
well...
be the same
just
* more sparkling *
sounds pretty good yea??

*hold on tight & believe*
~ maggie ~

* shes amazing *

* my mom *

i remember as a little girl
KNOWING
my
* mom was so beautiful *
her hair naturally curled perfectly
* she never had a bad hair day *

i loved her
... jewelry...
&
...her clothes...
...she had perfect eyebrows...
never wore more than mascara..blush & lipstick
&
was
ALWAYS
...noticed when she walked in a room...

she
.. smelled good...
all the time!
is it silly i remember that?
* i think it was it was guerlain or chloe *

...she was always remembered ..
couple weeks ago a boy i know from elementary school
said he remember her tieing his shoe
for him...
i love that he remembers she took time to do that
&
...it left a sweet impression on him...

she could
make
ANYTHING!!

* every halloween costume *
* christmas stockings *
* of course i still have THAT stocking *
&
* yes thats me in the play pen *
...she had an amazing garden full of tulips...
* this is probably pre-spring bloom
trust me it was amazing *

took us on adventures
&
enjoyed
it
&
US!!

* all 4 of her babies *
you name it
she could do it!!
&
...to top it off...
she played in leaves!

*i think i may like this best*
nothing like a beautiful woman
not afraid to have
fun
&
get dirty
!!

she
is
* amazing *
* brave * & * beautiful *

she has outlived both her parents ..
&
...her own daughter..
... a mothers greatest fear...
she is a
cancer survivor
&
she knows she has many angels

* she can swim like a fish*
* walk faster than anybody i know without breaking into a sweat*
*her toes are always pointed*
*her hands always lotioned*
* fingernails always filed *
&
*she can laugh so hard she cries*

i miss her...
she lives in arizona...
i just wanted to let her
know how much
i love her
&
think of her
&
hope one day to
achieve even half her strength

November 9th
she turned
70
&
she
was thrilled
!!!

*this is my favorite photo of her *

ask anyone that knows her
* her friends* family * children * those who she mothers *

* they will tell you the same *



I LOVE YOU MOM
I ADMIRE YOU
&
HOPE ONE DAY
I WILL ACHIEVE
YOUR STRENGTH
...brains & beauty ...
not so sure i can do that
but
strength
* my goal *
:)

so for no special reason
outside
of
letting you
know

I LOVE & MISS YOU MOM

i write this
to
YOU

* all of you go hug your moms *
&
linda
if your reading this
please
go hug "mom" for me
:)

~ maggie ~

*** can you read lips? ***

yep ..
me
29 minutes to get to work
&
*** NO CAR BRUSH/ICE SCRAPER ***

i was packed in ..
my own igloo on wheels!

you would think after a couple winters here i would get
with the program..
obviously i've been in denial!!

tis the season of...

* warming up the car *
* scraping the windshield *
* freezing cold gas nozzles *
* frozen shut car windows & doors *
* frosty windows that refuse to defrost *
not to mention
ramming the grocery cart
through
snow drifts & snow slop
to get from store to car...

so with that said...
i thank this little house
so shiney & bright
that had me driving my mobile igloo around the block twice to admire...


so
until it thaws
this is me
* nanook of the north *

adapting..
conquering
&
bashing
on
regardless!!

* holding my new snowbrush/ice scaper *

...stay warm & buried out...

~ maggie ~